My Insides Are Copper, I'd Kill To Make Them Gold
by Ashimattack
Summary: Sakura and Ino will never understand the true art of match making, here is just one example of it -redone and dusted, woo!


**written a while ago...**

**but i redid a lot of it so**

**YEAH**

**(;;)**

Sakura sat on a tree stump, watching Sasuke and Naruto have another epic battle that began with an argument about weather Spiderman could beat superman in a game of duel monsters, Sakura had no idea who the hell Spiderman was, or superman. She also had no idea what the hell duel monsters was, something to do with a TV show about an extremely complicated card game. Sakura didn't much see the point.

But she did always enjoy watching them fight, every move was different and all of them were amazing.

'Shadow clone jutsu!' he shouted and suddenly another three Naruto's appeared.

Sasuke quickly dodged the attack and sent some kunais to destroy the clones

Ok, so maybe not _every _move.

'Shadow clone jutsu!' shouted Naruto again

Sasuke once again dodged the attack and sent out some kunais.

Ok she pretty much just liked to perve on Sasuke, but some of the positions they ended up in were pretty funny too, she'd never noticed until she got into yaoi though.

'Having fun there?' said a voice behind her.

She jumped and turned to see Ino.

'Oh... Hey Ino-pig' said Sakura.

'Must we really sink to that level forehead? I'm simply here to enjoy the sexual tension'

Ino was right; there_ was_ a lot of sexual tension between Naruto and Sasuke. Not that _they _would ever admit it. Sakura didn't even know if they _knew _about it. Probably not.

'It is fun to watch' Sakura admitted. 'We really ought to try and get them together'

'You mean we play matchmaker?' asked Ino, not really getting that Sakura was joking.

'Uuh I was kinda joking...' said Sakura, then thought about it.

Why _couldn't _they play matchmaker?

Naruto and Sasuke would never know, and even if they _did_ find out (which they wouldn't) they would be too far into coupledom to notice.

'Naruto I wouldn't be surprised, But I'm pretty sure Sasuke isn't gay...' she said, more trying to talk herself out of it.

'Humph, he has two _beautiful _girls after him and he hasn't showed any interest' said Ino, then thought for a moment 'well _one _beautiful girl and one average looking girl...'

Sakura gave her daggers

'Also like most of the girls in our class...'

'Yeah! He's too cute _not _to be gay!'

And so Sakura and Ino's challenge to get Naruto and Sasuke together began.

(;;)

Later that day Naruto was surprised to find a single rose on his doorstep.

_Sincerely, your secret admirer - _The card said

'I wonder who it's from?' thought Naruto out loud 'Sakura? Nah... Ino? Definitely not... then who? Hinata? No she didn't like him.'

It definitely _was_ a mystery.

(;;)

Sasuke was not all that surprised to find a rose on his doorstep when he returned from training.

_Sincerely, your secret admirer – _said the card

'Probably from Ino' he thought 'she _does_ work in a flower shop'

He walked into his house and chucked the rose on the desk, not sparing it another thought.

'Gwa-ha-ha-ha!' cackled Sakura, her and Ino's plan was coming together marvellously...

Or so they thought.

(;;)

The next day when Naruto arrived to his classroom (late might I add) he found a box of chocolates on his desk with a note attached.

_More where this came from - _said the note

'I wonder who this is from' he said out loud. And I mean _out loud_.

'Naruto it would be nice if you could keep your personal life _out_ of my classroom...' said the Hokage, who was –for no apparent reason- teaching this class.

'Sorry it's just that this is the second thing I have gotten from my so called _secret admirer _he said.

One quarter of the class wondered who it might be, another quarter thought it was probably just Hinata, another quarter thought it was probably just a joke and the other quarter were either asleep or just didn't care.

Hinata was part of the group wondering who they were from, she was also jealous of the person who it actually was, for having the courage to do something like that.

(;;)

Sasuke didn't have class that day; he had a private lesson with Kakashi.

Suring their lesson they practised many of his awesome moves, including chidori, the sharingan and the fireball jutsu. All awesome moves but for another time.

Because this story isn't about how cool his moves are, it's about Sakura and Ino's crappy attempt at fulfilling their yaoi fantasies so let's move onto after the lesson.

'Oh wait a sec...' said Kakashi as Sasuke was about to leave. 'Sakura told me to give this to you'

He held out a box of chocolates.

'Uuh thanks...' said Sasuke, not really interested.

'She also said that if you asked who they were from to say they from Naruto' he said

_That _sparked Sasuke's attention.

He did a double take.

'What now?' he asked

Kakashi shrugged

'Don't ask me'

Sasuke wondered what Sakura was up to.

He also decided that if he was ever to get any revenge on her, not to use Kakashi because he kinda ruined it...

(;;)

The next day was Saturday so all ninjas had the day off, as was law placed by the Hokage.

Probably just so he could safely sleep in without having to teach a class or give out a mission

Sasuke decided to leave early and go get some training done in the forest.

When he walked out his front door he found a note on his doorstep.

_Meet me at 1:10pm today_ _outside the ramen shop_– it read

He dismissed it and continued on his way.

(;;)

At 1:05 that day Naruto waited outside the ramen shop with high hopes.

He was finally going to meet his secret admirer!

He spotted Sasuke walking past, he looked tired. Probably been training all day.

Naruto decided that this would be the perfect way to rub it in Sasuke's face.

'Hey Sasuke' he said in a sly voice.

Sasuke glanced up at him.

'Hey Naruto...' he said 'whatcha doing?'

'Just waiting for my _secret admirer'_ said Naruto

'Your what now?' asked Sasuke, surprised. He couldn't imagine anyone liking Naruto. Except maybe Hinata...

'My secret admirer' said Naruto, holding up the car instructing him to be here at this time.

Sasuke looked at it and his eyes widened.

He grabbed the note and gave it a closer inspection, then pulled his own note from his pocket.

They were identical...

'Naruto what else did your _secret admirer _send you?'

Naruto thought for a moment.

'A flower... Some chocolates and that' he pointed to the note. 'Why?'

'Because somebody sent _me _exactly the same things.' Said Sasuke

Naruto was disappointed; _Sasuke has a secret admirer too?_

'So... does that mean anything?' asked Naruto

God Naruto was so thick sometimes!

Sasuke showed him the note.

_Meet me at 1:10pm today_ _outside the ramen shop_

_'_And..?' Naruto still didn't catch on

'They're from the same person silly!' said Sasuke

Naruto's eyes widened.

Did Sasuke just use the word silly?

'But... the person is meeting _me_ here at 1:10! How can they meet you too?'

'No dummy, someone is trying to _set us up_! They want us to think that the notes are from each other so we will get together'

Naruto grimaced

'Why would anyone want _us _to get together?'

'I dunno... some sicko with weird fantasies... and I bet I know who!'

'Who?'

'Sakura! Kakashi told me that the chocolates were from her. We have to get back at her... but how?'

'I have an idea...' said Naruto.

(;;)

Five minutes later Naruto had explained his idea and Sasuke was gaping at him, which was quite a funny sight might I add.

'No' he said

'Why not?'

'Coz it will _never_ work!'

'Yes it will! It will also get Sakura and Ino and anyone else off your back...'

Sasuke was beaten. He knew it would work... but it was so..._wrong._

He sighed, defeated.

'I guess it could work...' he said 'we'll do it tomorrow, give me some time to... prepare'

Naruto didn't want to think about what Sasuke's _preparing_ might be, but he _was _amazed that Sasuke was going through with it...

'Wait!' said Sasuke suddenly as he was leaving. 'If it doesn't work, you owe me ten bucks as compensation'

'Ok...' Naruto nodded 'but if it does work you owe _me_ ten bucks, for saving your ass'

'Deal' said Sasuke.

(;;)

The next day Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura went to training with Kakashi.

And Ino decided to tag along, because she wanted to see how everything panned out.

'So... Sasuke, Naruto. Do anything exiting on your day off?' asked Sakura after training was over.

'As a matter of fact we did!' said Naruto

'Oh really?' Sakura said in mock surprise

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

'Yeah and just so you know the gigs up. We know what you were trying to do'

'Sasuke!' Naruto whined 'you weren't supposed to tell!'

'Well if we are going to do this right...'

'Yeah... It _is _pretty big news...'

Sakura's ears pricked up.

'What's big news?'

Sasuke sighed.

'Well now she knows that something is up... thanks loser'

'What is up?' asked Sakura

'No we can't tell her...' said Naruto

'Yeah you can!' said Sakura eagerly

'Ok fine... how about we just show you?' said Sasuke

And with that Sasuke grabbed Naruto and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Sakura and Ino's mouths gaped open.

Sasuke and Naruto went on for over 8 minutes without air, in the end Sakura passed out due to a massive nose bleed and Ino still stood there gaping.

Sasuke and Naruto resurfaced from their kiss and noticed the unconscious Sakura.

'Heh... I guess it worked' said Sasuke

'Told you it would, $10 please.'

Sasuke sighed and handed over the money.

'Guess I better go now...' Sasuke said awkwardly.

When Sasuke was gone Naruto started grinning.

Ino glared at him

'I guess you were right, although I really honestly didn't think he'd go through with it'

'Oh well, you lost. $10 please'

Ino glared at him and handed over the money.

Naruto left Ino to deal with Sakura and walked off smiling, now $20 richer.


End file.
